#amount of garlic taste stronger. this is a thing that can be done.
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abducting all the "I always use triple the amount of garlic the recipe actually calls for 😋 " mfs and putting them through re-education camps
#listen. listen to me#there are other flavors out there. there are delicious ingredients beyond your wildest imagination. and there are ways to make the right#amount of garlic taste stronger. this is a thing that can be done.#listen. are you listening? you dont have to do this#☕️🥧#cooking stuff
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THINGS YOUR MOTHER SHOULD HAVE TOLD YOU
1. Take your bananas apart when you get home from the store. If you leave them connected at the stem, they ripen faster.
2. Store your opened chunks of cheese in aluminum foil. It will stay fresh much longer and not mold!
3. Peppers with 3 bumps on the bottom are sweeter and better for eating. Peppers with 4 bumps on the bottom are firmer and better for cooking.
4. Add a teaspoon of water when frying ground beef. It will help pull the grease away from the meat while cooking.
5. To really make scrambled eggs or omelets rich add a couple of spoonfuls of sour cream, cream cheese, or heavy cream in and then beat them up.
6. For a cool brownie treat, make brownies as directed. Melt Andes mints in double broiler and pour over warm brownies. Let set for a wonderful minty frosting.
7. Add garlic immediately to a recipe if you want a light taste of garlic and at the end of the recipe if your want a stronger taste of garlic.
8. Leftover snickers bars from Halloween make a delicious dessert. Simply chop them up with the food chopper. Peel, core and slice a few apples. Place them in a baking dish and sprinkle the chopped candy bars over the apples. Bake at 350 for 15 minutes!!! Serve alone or with vanilla ice cream. Yummm!
9. Reheat Pizza
Heat up leftover pizza in a nonstick skillet on top of the stove, set heat to med-low and heat till warm. This keeps the crust crispy. No soggy micro pizza. I saw this on the cooking channel and it really works.
10. Easy Deviled Eggs
Put cooked egg yolks in a zip lock bag. Seal, mash till they are all broken up. Add remainder of ingredients, reseal, keep mashing it up mixing thoroughly, cut the tip of the baggy, squeeze mixture into egg. Just throw bag away when done easy clean up.
11. Expanding Frosting
When you buy a container of cake frosting from the store, whip it with your mixer for a few minutes. You can double it in size. You get to frost more cake/cupcakes with the same amount. You also eat less sugar and calories per serving.
12. Reheating refrigerated bread
To warm biscuits, pancakes, or muffins that were refrigerated, place them in a microwave with a cup of water. The increased moisture will keep the food moist and help it reheat faster.
13. Newspaper weeds away
Start putting in your plants, work the nutrients in your soil. Wet newspapers, put layers around the plants overlapping as you go. Cover with mulch and forget about weeds. Weeds will get through some gardening plastic they will not get through wet newspapers.
14. Broken Glass
Use a wet cotton ball or Q-tip to pick up the small shards of glass you can't see easily.
15. No More Mosquitoes
Place a dryer sheet in your pocket. It will keep the mosquitoes away.
16. Squirrel Away!
To keep squirrels from eating your plants, sprinkle your plants with cayenne pepper. The cayenne pepper doesn't hurt the plant and the squirrels won't come near it.
17. Flexible vacuum
To get something out of a heat register or under the fridge add an empty paper towel roll or empty gift wrap roll to your vacuum. It can be bent or flattened to get in narrow openings.
18. Reducing Static Cling
Pin a small safety pin to the seam of your slip and you will not have a clingy skirt or dress. Same thing works with slacks that cling when wearing panty hose. Place pin in seam of slacks and ... guess what! ... static is gone.
19. Measuring Cups
Before you pour sticky substances into a measuring cup, fill with hot water. Dump out the hot water, but don't dry cup. Next, add your ingredient, such as peanut butter, and watch how easily it comes right out. (Or spray the measuring cup or spoon with Pam before using)
20. Foggy Windshield?
Hate foggy windshields? Buy a chalkboard eraser and keep it in the glove box of your car When the windows fog, rub with the eraser! Works better than a cloth!
21. Re-opening envelopes
If you seal an envelope and then realize you forgot to include something inside, just place your sealed envelope in the freezer for an hour or two. Viola! It unseals easily.
22. Conditioner
Use your hair conditioner to shave your legs. It's cheaper than shaving cream and leaves your legs really smooth. It's also a great way to use up the conditioner you bought but didn't like when you tried it in your hair.
spotted on the Tedooo app
23. Goodbye Fruit Flies
To get rid of pesky fruit flies, take a small glass, fill it 1/2' with Apple Cider Vinegar and 2 drops of dish washing liquid; mix well. You will find those flies drawn to the cup and gone forever!
24. Get Rid of Ants
Put small piles of cornmeal where you see ants. They eat it, take it 'home,' can't digest it so it kills them. It may take a week or so, especially if it rains, but it works and you don't have the worry about pets or small children being harmed!
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THINGS YOUR MOTHER SHOULD HAVE TOLD YOU
1. Take your bananas apart when you get home from the store. If you leave them connected at the stem, they ripen faster.
2. Store your opened chunks of cheese in aluminum foil. It will stay fresh much longer and not mold!
3. Peppers with 3 bumps on the bottom are sweeter and better for eating. Peppers with 4 bumps on the bottom are firmer and better for cooking.
4. Add a teaspoon of water when frying ground beef. It will help pull the grease away from the meat while cooking.
5. To really make scrambled eggs or omelets rich add a couple of spoonfuls of sour cream, cream cheese, or heavy cream in and then beat them up.
6. For a cool brownie treat, make brownies as directed. Melt Andes mints in double broiler and pour over warm brownies. Let set for a wonderful minty frosting.
7. Add garlic immediately to a recipe if you want a light taste of garlic and at the end of the recipe if your want a stronger taste of garlic.
8. Leftover snickers bars from Halloween make a delicious dessert. Simply chop them up with the food chopper. Peel, core and slice a few apples. Place them in a baking dish and sprinkle the chopped candy bars over the apples. Bake at 350 for 15 minutes!!! Serve alone or with vanilla ice cream. Yummm!
9. Reheat Pizza
Heat up leftover pizza in a nonstick skillet on top of the stove, set heat to med-low and heat till warm. This keeps the crust crispy. No soggy micro pizza. I saw this on the cooking channel and it really works.
10. Easy Deviled Eggs
Put cooked egg yolks in a zip lock bag. Seal, mash till they are all broken up. Add remainder of ingredients, reseal, keep mashing it up mixing thoroughly, cut the tip of the baggy, squeeze mixture into egg. Just throw bag away when done easy clean up.
11. Expanding Frosting
When you buy a container of cake frosting from the store, whip it with your mixer for a few minutes. You can double it in size. You get to frost more cake/cupcakes with the same amount. You also eat less sugar and calories per serving.
12. Reheating refrigerated bread
To warm biscuits, pancakes, or muffins that were refrigerated, place them in a microwave with a cup of water. The increased moisture will keep the food moist and help it reheat faster.
13. Newspaper weeds away
Start putting in your plants, work the nutrients in your soil. Wet newspapers, put layers around the plants overlapping as you go. Cover with mulch and forget about weeds. Weeds will get through some gardening plastic they will not get through wet newspapers.
14. Broken Glass
Use a wet cotton ball or Q-tip to pick up the small shards of glass you can't see easily.
15. No More Mosquitoes
Place a dryer sheet in your pocket. It will keep the mosquitoes away.
16. Squirrel Away!
To keep squirrels from eating your plants, sprinkle your plants with cayenne pepper. The cayenne pepper doesn't hurt the plant and the squirrels won't come near it.
17. Flexible vacuum
To get something out of a heat register or under the fridge add an empty paper towel roll or empty gift wrap roll to your vacuum. It can be bent or flattened to get in narrow openings.
18. Reducing Static Cling
Pin a small safety pin to the seam of your slip and you will not have a clingy skirt or dress. Same thing works with slacks that cling when wearing panty hose. Place pin in seam of slacks and ... guess what! ... static is gone.
19. Measuring Cups
Before you pour sticky substances into a measuring cup, fill with hot water. Dump out the hot water, but don't dry cup. Next, add your ingredient, such as peanut butter, and watch how easily it comes right out. (Or spray the measuring cup or spoon with Pam before using)
20. Foggy Windshield?
Hate foggy windshields? Buy a chalkboard eraser and keep it in the glove box of your car When the windows fog, rub with the eraser! Works better than a cloth!
21. Re-opening envelopes
If you seal an envelope and then realize you forgot to include something inside, just place your sealed envelope in the freezer for an hour or two. Viola! It unseals easily.
22. Conditioner
Use your hair conditioner to shave your legs. It's cheaper than shaving cream and leaves your legs really smooth. It's also a great way to use up the conditioner you bought but didn't like when you tried it in your hair.
23. Goodbye Fruit Flies
To get rid of pesky fruit flies, take a small glass, fill it 1/2' with Apple Cider Vinegar and 2 drops of dish washing liquid; mix well. You will find those flies drawn to the cup and gone forever!
24. Get Rid of Ants
Put small piles of cornmeal where you see ants. They eat it, take it 'home,' can't digest it so it kills them. It may take a week or so, especially if it rains, but it works and you don't have the worry about pets or small children being harmed!
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THINGS YOUR MOTHER SHOULD HAVE TOLD YOU
1. Take your bananas apart when you get home from the store. If you leave them connected at the stem, they ripen faster.
2. Store your opened chunks of cheese in aluminum foil. It will stay fresh much longer and not mold!
3. Peppers with 3 bumps on the bottom are sweeter and better for eating. Peppers with 4 bumps on the bottom are firmer and better for cooking.
4. Add a teaspoon of water when frying ground beef. It will help pull the grease away from the meat while cooking.
5. To really make scrambled eggs or omelets rich add a couple of spoonfuls of sour cream, cream cheese, or heavy cream in and then beat them up.
6. For a cool brownie treat, make brownies as directed. Melt Andes mints in double broiler and pour over warm brownies. Let set for a wonderful minty frosting.
7. Add garlic immediately to a recipe if you want a light taste of garlic and at the end of the recipe if your want a stronger taste of garlic.
8. Leftover snickers bars from Halloween make a delicious dessert. Simply chop them up with the food chopper. Peel, core and slice a few apples. Place them in a baking dish and sprinkle the chopped candy bars over the apples. Bake at 350 for 15 minutes!!! Serve alone or with vanilla ice cream. Yummm!
9. Reheat Pizza
Heat up leftover pizza in a nonstick skillet on top of the stove, set heat to med-low and heat till warm. This keeps the crust crispy. No soggy micro pizza. I saw this on the cooking channel and it really works.
10. Easy Deviled Eggs
Put cooked egg yolks in a zip lock bag. Seal, mash till they are all broken up. Add remainder of ingredients, reseal, keep mashing it up mixing thoroughly, cut the tip of the baggy, squeeze mixture into egg. Just throw bag away when done easy clean up.
11. Expanding Frosting
When you buy a container of cake frosting from the store, whip it with your mixer for a few minutes. You can double it in size. You get to frost more cake/cupcakes with the same amount. You also eat less sugar and calories per serving.
12. Reheating refrigerated bread
To warm biscuits, pancakes, or muffins that were refrigerated, place them in a microwave with a cup of water. The increased moisture will keep the food moist and help it reheat faster.
13. Newspaper weeds away
Start putting in your plants, work the nutrients in your soil. Wet newspapers, put layers around the plants overlapping as you go. Cover with mulch and forget about weeds. Weeds will get through some gardening plastic they will not get through wet newspapers.
14. Broken Glass
Use a wet cotton ball or Q-tip to pick up the small shards of glass you can't see easily.
15. No More Mosquitoes
Place a dryer sheet in your pocket. It will keep the mosquitoes away.
16. Squirrel Away!
To keep squirrels from eating your plants, sprinkle your plants with cayenne pepper. The cayenne pepper doesn't hurt the plant and the squirrels won't come near it.
17. Flexible vacuum
To get something out of a heat register or under the fridge add an empty paper towel roll or empty gift wrap roll to your vacuum. It can be bent or flattened to get in narrow openings.
18. Reducing Static Cling
Pin a small safety pin to the seam of your slip and you will not have a clingy skirt or dress. Same thing works with slacks that cling when wearing panty hose. Place pin in seam of slacks and ... guess what! ... static is gone.
19. Measuring Cups
Before you pour sticky substances into a measuring cup, fill with hot water. Dump out the hot water, but don't dry cup. Next, add your ingredient, such as peanut butter, and watch how easily it comes right out. (Or spray the measuring cup or spoon with Pam before using)
20. Foggy Windshield?
Hate foggy windshields? Buy a chalkboard eraser and keep it in the glove box of your car When the windows fog, rub with the eraser! Works better than a cloth!
21. Re-opening envelopes
If you seal an envelope and then realize you forgot to include something inside, just place your sealed envelope in the freezer for an hour or two. Viola! It unseals easily.
22. Conditioner
Use your hair conditioner to shave your legs. It's cheaper than shaving cream and leaves your legs really smooth. It's also a great way to use up the conditioner you bought but didn't like when you tried it in your hair.
23. Goodbye Fruit Flies
To get rid of pesky fruit flies, take a small glass, fill it 1/2' with Apple Cider Vinegar and 2 drops of dish washing liquid; mix well. You will find those flies drawn to the cup and gone forever!
24. Get Rid of Ants
Put small piles of cornmeal where you see ants. They eat it, take it 'home,' can't digest it so it kills them. It may take a week or so, especially if it rains, but it works and you don't have the worry about pets or small children being harmed!
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Listen up, nerds. If you’re like me and hate trying to cook every day and prep lunches and shit, then have I got a mac ‘n’ cheese recipe for you. Total, it takes maybe 30 minutes to make and most of that will just be waiting for stuff to cook, and you will have lunch and dinner set for days. I wrote it with multiple units of measurement because I’m in the U.S. and measuring anything is hellish over here.
Cooking doesn’t have to be scary. Unless you’re a professional chef, cooking is 1 part science, 1 part whimsy, 2 parts love, and 1 part making shit up as you go. You don’t have to follow this recipe exactly, this is just the way I like it. Tweak and change it up how you want.
This will make an unholy amount of mac ‘n’ cheese. You have been warned.
Good as Shit Mac ‘n’ Cheese Recipe That Will Feed You for Like a Week
Ingredients
1 pound (16 oz) medium shell pasta (or whatever pasta you want or have on hand, I’m not your mom)
1 pound (16 oz or about 4 cups) shredded cheddar cheese OR
¾ pound (12 oz or 3 cups) shredded cheddar cheese and ¼ pound-ish (4 oz or 1-1½ cups) shredded parmesan (Apparently, the shredded cheese you buy at the store has an anti-caking agent that supposedly makes it bad for a roux but I’ve literally never had a problem and I’ve been making homemade cheese sauce since I was tall enough to reach the stove)
1 cup (8 oz or 8 tbsp) flour (literally doesn’t matter what kind just be careful with flavors)
16 oz (2 cups) heavy cream
16 oz (2 cups) milk of choice (I use 2% lactose free milk to reduce tummy troubles)
16 oz (2 cups) cooked chicken breast OR
16 oz (2 cups) cooked ground beef OR
16 oz (2 cups) protein of choice (just make sure the flavor will go well with cheese or you will be in for a bad time)
16 oz (2 cups) broccoli or veggie of choice (again, make sure the flavors go well with creamy cheese or else, bad times)
2 tbsp minced garlic
½ – 1 cup diced onions (adjust amount depending on how strong your onions are. You can also just use onion powder and measure with your heart. Or leave it out completely, again, not your mom.)
Salt to taste
Black pepper to taste
Basil (fresh is better but dried has stronger, more concentrated flavor)
Thyme (see above)
Now on to the actual cooking.
Cook pasta according to box instructions. As you’re draining the pasta, set aside like a cup or two of the pasta water (this is a surprise tool we’ll use later)
I usually steam the veggies in the microwave because I always fuckin’ forget about it until the end. It will definitely be twenty times better if you cook up the protein and then throw the veg in and put in some salt or butter or other spices and cook it all that way (cook the meat first or else you’ll over cook the veggies and then they’ll be bleh). If you have an instant pot, cook up the meat and then throw the veg in for like two minutes.
Also if your protein has a lot of grease after it’s done cooking you’re going to want to drain most of that off (not all of it, that’s were a lot of the flavor will be) (DO NOT pour it down the sink. Pour it into a can or jar and throw it away when it cools, or keep it to flavor stuff later). If you go the instant pot route, you can cook the meat with a cup or so of whatever broth and then add cornstarch and boom, you’ve got gravy for something else (you can freeze it).
For the sauce, first make a roux with the butter and flour (shh, shh, it’s okay I know the fancy Fr*nch word is scary but it’s literally the easiest thing to do and it’s necessary to make the cheese and milk mix together)
Melt butter in a sauce pan (you are gonna want a big pan trust me) on medium heat, pour in the flour and whisk until bubbly. If you don’t have a whisk you can use a fork but if you are using a non-stick pan foR THE LOVE OF ALL THAT IS CHEESEY DO NOT USE A METAL ONE.
That’s literally it, you just learned how to make a roux, go impress your friends and family.
Pour in heavy cream and milk and whisk together. Stir often until sauce is on the verge of boiling.
Now, I want you to look at me.
This is very Important.
The roux will collect at the bottom of the pan and it WILL BURN if it sits for even two minutes. Stir that shit almost constantly.
Mix in that mother fukin’ cheese small amounts at a time until it’s all melty. It will now be too thick to stir with a whisk unless you’re not a coward. But also don’t break your whisk.
Mix in salt, pepper, basil, and thyme and whatever other spices you want. Measure with your heart and your taste buds. Again, keep stirring because it will burn, and the oils in the cheese will try to separate. Don’t let either happen.
Once sauce is all mixed and melty pour into the pasta and stir in protein and veggies. Simmer for a few minutes to get all the flavors mixy. If you have a ton of sauce in comparison to everything else, just add more veggies and/or protein. If you ended up with too little, then pour in that leftover pasta water until it hits the consistency you want (this works with all types of sauces, the water is also good for plants so if you don’t use it all, treat your house plants)
Congrats, you now have lunch and dinner for like a week. You’re welcome.
Tips: You can buy minced garlic at the grocery stores and it’s literally so easy and will keep for months. This is a god send if you like to make most of your food completely vampire proof like me. You can also buy pre-cooked meat. Angelic choir begins singing
Remember kids, safe-to-eat temp for poultry is 165 degrees fahrenheit or 74 degrees celsius, and for beef and pork it’s 145 degrees F or 63 degrees C. Tofu people you’re on your own, sorry.
#the gerblin speaks#save for later#putting this here in case i lose the recipe some how#enjoy#or dont
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THINGS YOUR MOTHER SHOULD HAVE TOLD YOU
1. Take your bananas apart when you get home from the store. If you leave them connected at the stem, they ripen faster.
2. Store your opened chunks of cheese in aluminum foil. It will stay fresh much longer and not mold!
3. Peppers with 3 bumps on the bottom are sweeter and better for eating. Peppers with 4 bumps on the bottom are firmer and better for cooking.
4. Add a teaspoon of water when frying ground beef. It will help pull the grease away from the meat while cooking.
5. To really make scrambled eggs or omelets rich add a couple of spoonfuls of sour cream, cream cheese, or heavy cream in and then beat them up.
6. For a cool brownie treat, make brownies as directed. Melt Andes mints in double broiler and pour over warm brownies. Let set for a wonderful minty frosting.
7. Add garlic immediately to a recipe if you want a light taste of garlic and at the end of the recipe if your want a stronger taste of garlic
8. Leftover snickers bars from Halloween make a delicious dessert. Simply chop them up with the food chopper. Peel, core and slice a few apples. Place them in a baking dish and sprinkle the chopped candy bars over the apples. Bake at 350 for 15 minutes!!! Serve alone or with vanilla ice cream. Yummm!
9. Reheat Pizza Heat up leftover pizza in a nonstick skillet on top of the stove, set heat to med-low and heat till warm. This keeps the crust crispy. No soggy micro pizza. I saw this on the cooking channel and it really works.
10. Easy Deviled Eggs Put cooked egg yolks in a zip lock bag. Seal, mash till they are all broken up. Add remainder of ingredients, reseal, keep mashing it up mixing thoroughly, cut the tip of the baggy, squeeze mixture into egg. Just throw bag away when done easy clean up.
11. Expanding Frosting When you buy a container of cake frosting from the store, whip it with your mixer for a few minutes. You can double it in size. You get to frost more cake/cupcakes with the same amount. You also eat less sugar and calories per serving.
12. Reheating refrigerated bread To warm biscuits, pancakes, or muffins that were refrigerated, place them in a microwave with a cup of water. The increased moisture will keep the food moist and help it reheat faster.
13. Newspaper weeds away Start putting in your plants, work the nutrients in your soil. Wet newspapers, put layers around the plants overlapping as you go. Cover with mulch and forget about weeds. Weeds will get through some gardening plastic they will not get through wet newspapers.
14. Broken Glass Use a wet cotton ball or Q-tip to pick up the small shards of glass you can't see easily. (NOTE - That’s what Wonder Bread is great for!)
15. No More Mosquitoes Place a dryer sheet in your pocket. It will keep the mosquitoes away.
16. Squirrel Away!
To keep squirrels from eating your plants, sprinkle your plants with cayenne pepper. The cayenne pepper doesn't hurt the plant and the squirrels won't come near it.
17. Flexible vacuum To get something out of a heat register or under the fridge add an empty paper towel roll or empty gift wrap roll to your vacuum. It can be bent or flattened to get in narrow openings.
18. Reducing Static Cling Pin a small safety pin to the seam of your slip and you will not have a clingy skirt or dress. Same thing works with slacks that cling when wearing panty hose. Place pin in seam of slacks and ... guess what! ... static is gone.
19. Measuring Cups Before you pour sticky substances into a measuring cup, fill with hot water. Dump out the hot water, but don't dry cup. Next, add your ingredient, such as peanut butter, and watch how easily it comes right out. (Or spray the measuring cup or spoon with Pam before using)
20. Foggy Windshield? Hate foggy windshields? Buy a chalkboard eraser and keep it in the glove box of your car When the windows fog, rub with the eraser! Works better than a cloth!
21. Re-opening envelopesIf you seal an envelope and then realize you forgot to include something inside, just place your sealed envelope in the freezer for an hour or two. Viola! It unseals easily.
22. Conditioner Use your hair conditioner to shave your legs. It's cheaper than shaving cream and leaves your legs really smooth. It's also a great way to use up the conditioner you bought but didn't like when you tried it in your hair.
23. Goodbye Fruit Flies To get rid of pesky fruit flies, take a small glass, fill it 1/2' with Apple Cider Vinegar and 2 drops of dish washing liquid; mix well. You will find those flies drawn to the cup and gone forever!
24. Get Rid of Ants Put small piles of cornmeal where you see ants. They eat it, take it 'home,' can't digest it so it kills them. It may take a week or so, especially if it rains, but it works and you don't have the worry about pets or small children being harmed!
25. Dryer Filter Even if you are very diligent about cleaning the lint filter in your dryer it still may be causing you a problem. If you use dryer sheets a waxy build up could be accumulating on the filter causing your dryer to over heat. The solution to this is to clean your filter with with a toothbrush and hot soapy water every 6 months.☆
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Head canons for lis with a vampire mc? 👀🦇 Your headcanons are so great
lol my mind goes to @devoraks-dearest-love when it comes to vampires. She has a beautiful apprentice (who is a vampire, that idea is so cool ngl) and some fun content! From what I’ve seen of she’s also a very lovely and incredibly beautiful person. (since you’re getting this ping: hello! Love Salice, she’s a darling! Thought of you while writing haha)
But yes! Vampires! I’m sorry I’m a little rusty with the vampy folks lol. My knowledge comes from Interview with a Vampire, Dragula (which was a bit of a slog ngl. Creepy but oof)
Main six x MC vampire
~~~~
Julian
He’s your own personal blood bank my dudes
The MOMENT he finds out you’re a vampire his shirt is off, his neck is exposed, and he has some one liner ready
“Eat away MC, I’m all yours~” (the AMOUNT of dirty jokes that I HAVE for this scenario)
Guys he’s such a masochist. Such a needy masochist, but we love him
But of course he’s always at your side with a slew of questions. How did you turn? Can you turn him by accident? Can you survive on animal blood? Does sunlight actually affect you? Garlic?
Of course he’s always makes sure you’re doing okay
Have you eaten enough? Do you need to rest?
The best part is he’s also a night owl so you two can go out and cause chaos during the wee hours of the night
Also he will beg you to drink his blood sorry I don’t make the rules here
Asra
Awww don’t worry he loves this side of you
Even if you can be...a little scary sometimes
You and Faust bond over your sharp teeth
Whenever it’s your time to feed (im struggling here LMFAO) he goes out to help you
Of course he’s offered himself up as the snacc he is
They’d have to convince you to drink their blood. You don’t want to hurt them, but they say they’ll be fine
Of course he is and he’s glad to help you
He loves you so of course he’d offer himself up on a silver platter
he’s done that much to your dismay
You’re usually very cold so when you two cuddle there’s tons of blankets
He keeps garlic out of the house, and makes sure you’re safe when you go out during the day
Nadia
If you have a more gothic style she’ll love you forever and ever (even more than she already does)
And she’ll dress the same way
If you don’t that’s cool too she gets you the best looking clothes fit for an immortal
And makes sure you’re fed
Since you have enhanced strength you enjoy just...sweeping her off her feet
Oh she LOVES it. She adores every part of you
Of course it’s always a little game to see what she can learn about you next.
Every LI has offered themselves up to help you, her included. She knows that you could be uncomfortable with eating blood and she doesn’t mind at all
And since you’re a night owl she’s set aside things for you to do
When she can she stays up with you, sometimes you’d even go around causing a little trouble ;). She likes adventuring with you
Muriel
Lmfao not gonna lie to ya but he does not care
Vampire, human, werewolf, he does not care. Why? Because you’re his MC and nothing you are is gonna change that fact
Of course he’s gonna help you out
If you need blood he’s glad to give you his he doesn’t mind
You can’t go out in the sun? That’s fine he enjoys going out at night there aren’t as many people
You can hunt and run fast? Nice looks like you’re getting dinner
Can play rough with Inanna? Great she needs to get the energy out
He just loves you for you, being a vampire doesn’t change it, but it just means adjusting
He does appreciate the fact that you’re stronger
You can help out with some of the labor and he does enjoy watching you work (nice ass 😎👉👉)
Portia
You’re a vampire?
That’s SO COOL
She LOVES this so much. She’s never met a vampire before! And the fact it’s her beloved MC? She is ECSTATIC
She has SO many questions. How fast can you run? How strong are you (...can you pick her up?) are you always this cold?
Sure Pepi takes a little while to warm up to you, but she does eventually
During the summer especially. You’re like a cooler, Pepi loves you
Portia loves asking you questions, of course, but she loves just seeing you in action (nice ass 😎👉👉 pt 2)
Pick her up. Pick her up. Pick her up. Pick her up. Pick her up. Pic-
When you help her with her work oooh she could just swoon
Hanging out with you at night is one of her favourite things. She takes you to see her garden and the two of you talk and hang out under the stars most nights when she can stay awake
When she falls asleep you always take her to bed
Lucio
*adds it to the list of things he loves about you*
pICK HIM UP PICK HIM UP PICK HIM UP PICK HIM UP P-
Like Julian he will also very dramatically declare himself your blood bank
“Drink away MC, but not too much ;). I know I taste delicious~” (I cringed and snorted while writing that oh dear)
He loves the fact you’re a night owl
And nice you have high stamina. He’s taking you hunting (...and yes other things but this is not the place lmfao)
Nice ass 😎👉👉 pt 3.
Mercedes and Melchior ADORE you. You can actually keep up with them and the three of you go tearing through the palace gardens most nights
Lucio does not care how cold you are you are getting in bed and cuddling
You are v nice during the summer
Gosh he loves you. And yes he will ask you so many questions about this
#the arcana#the arcana game#the arcana headcanons#julian devorak#lucio morgasson#nadia satrinava#portia devorak#muriel of the kokhuri#muriel#asra alnazar#main six x mc#julian headcanons#nadia headcanons#muriel headcanons#lucio headcanons#portia headcanons#asra headcanons#vampire mc
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Été - Pierre-Luc Dubois
Summary: Pierre takes his love to France where they have the time of their lives.
Words: 1802
“In this space right here that we have made for each other, you can say anything, and I will not abandon you. Unwrap the worst things you have done. Watch me hold them up to the light and not even flinch.” - tristamateer on Tumblr
Pierre-Luc Dubois was without a doubt the most romantic and sweetest guy she ever met in her whole life. It was overwhelming at times. The amount of attention he gave her, romantic surprises from dinners to weekend getaways to simply but most importantly being her best friend. He appeared in her life just when she was losing hope there could exist a man who could love her the way she wanted and needed. She knew she could count on him and trust him with everything and no matter how many issues life threw in their way they almost made it out stronger and more in love. What more could she ask for?
That’s exactly what Pierre wanted to know once the hockey season ended for him and summer was around the corner. He knew how much she had to sacrifice and deal with many things that she didn’t like for the sake of his playing career and he wanted to show her how much he appreciated her patience and support. He asked her countless time if there was anything she wanted to do in summer, anything he could buy her, or make come true but she never said a single thing except for “having you is enough”. It was of course a nice thing to know and to hear but it wasn’t helpful at all. Then thankfully an answer came, quite randomly when they were cooking dinner together and she opened a bottle of her favorite French wine and mumbled the words “oh to be in a winery in France!” And that’s exactly where he was going to take her.
He planned the whole trip for almost two weeks to make sure everything would go smoothly and that everything would be perfect. He rented a villa on a hilltop surround by land and in a small private winery. The villa was near to historic cities of southwest France, and completely private which was something he craved - privacy. To be alone with his love, away from his teammates and the team’s staff, away from media and fans. Just him and her for once.
“Are you kidding?” Y/n asked when she opened the little envelope with the details of their vacation in France. “I can’t go to France for 3 weeks Pierre! I have to work.”
“No, no you don’t,” Pierre laughed and rolled his eyes at her. She could never enjoy a surprise without thinking of a reason why she couldn’t enjoy it.
“What do you mean? Of course, I do!”
“You don’t. I talked to your boss already and she doesn’t have a problem with it,” he explained with a soft smile.
“You’re the best!” She said loudly and jump on him with excitement. “I love you.”
Southwest France
When the couple arrived to their rented villa a selection of wines made in the winery they would call home for the next three weeks greeted them in the kitchen and naturally, they opened a bottle or two immediately as a way to start the vacation.
“Wine tastes better in France,” Y/n announced after she poured herself another glass. “Don’t you think?”
“I think it would taste even better if we had some food,” Pierre laughed. “Seriously, I’m starving. Let’s go out.”
“Give me a minute,” Y/n ran to their bedroom, put on a beige silk dress that went below her knees, styled it with a pair of black flats and sunglasses and she was ready to go.
Pierre waited for her outside in their rented car, a black cabriolet Chevrolet Corvette, the perfect car to discover the city in and for road trips he planned for them.
A few minutes later they were sitting in possibly the most romantic restaurant they have ever been to. A man was playing the piano somewhere in the garden creating a perfect atmosphere for their first date in France, oil paintings on the walls, flowers decorating all the tables, and the view on a courtyard full of flowers. Could it be more magical? People around them chatted with each other, the beautiful French language almost seemed to be in the rhythm of the piano. And yet as fancy as it was it still felt cozy and homey. Y/n was in complete shock and it took a lot of self-control to stay calm and not to start obsesses over everything and to keep her phone in her bag since she and Pierre agreed not to use their phones and enjoy the privacy but she regretted the promise a little because she really wanted to a take a picture of that place. Pierre liked the setting as well but what made him happier was Y/n’s smile and excitement. Her smile was wider than usual, and her eyes lit up every time she spotted something, she found adorable.
The sun was slowly setting down while they enjoyed their dinner, the best food they ever had in their whole lives. They’ve been to so many restaurants in so many cities, yet no food tasted as good as the food in France. Needless to mention that the beautiful atmosphere simply made everything better. Pierre although he was a romantic guy, he never truly understood the world’s obsession with Paris and France in general but now that he was there, he finally understood what the world was talking about. Y/n always dreamt of going to France and having a movie-like summer with the love of her life. And as she looked at Pierre sitting in front of her, looking right back at her with so much love she knew with absolute certainty that he was the love of her life, the person she waited for for so long. The only person she could imagine spending the rest of her life with and growing old with him didn’t scare her at all. She knew it was going to be okay.
The following morning, they both woke up in an exceptionally good mood. Maybe it was the sunshine and warmth, maybe it was the fresh air, the privacy, and maybe the fact that everything was perfect, and nothing could ruin their mood. After a delicious breakfast, they moved to their garden to chill by the pool.
Pierre was on the sunbed watching Y/n swim in the pool happily. He kept smiling at her although she hardly ever looked at him. She looked happier than ever before and Pierre was proud of himself for planning this and doing this for her because it served its purpose; it made her smile, happy and relaxed.
When she got out of the water she stood still in the grass, surrounded by the never-ending grapevine, the sun made her skin appear golden and she was glowing, looking like an actual goddess. “What?” She giggled when she noticed Pierre staring at her.
“Nothing,” he answered. “Just adoring my girl.”
Y/n then lay down on the sunbed next to Pierre, enjoyed the warmth, and listened to Pierre reading her favorite book for her. The birds sang in the trees, the sun was pleasingly warm and they sipped wine and enjoyed each other’s company.
All shades of orange and pink created a beautiful sky that made everything look warmer and cozier, the last rays of sunshine sneaked into the villa most specifically to the kitchen where was Y/n currently making dinner while Pierre tries his best to help but not move around too much because his clumsiness in the kitchen was no joke. A warm breeze brushed against their skin and the scent of freshly chopped herbs filled the whole area. Soft jazz was playing in the living room and both Y/n and Pierre moved in the rhythm of the quiet music without realizing it. It was simply a beautiful and romantic evening in France.
“I have no idea what we’re cooking,” Pierre said as he added the chopped herbs and garlic he cut with such care after to the meat that was now covered in red wine and beef stock. “But it already smells delicious.”
“It’s boeuf bourguignon,” she answered with a French accent making herself and Pierre giggle. “And now we wait for an hour.” She said when she put the meat into the oven.
“This is nice,” Pierre whispered into Y/n’s ear when he wrapped his hands around her body, kissed her cheek softly and they slowly moved together with the music and watched the sunset from their terrace. “It’s nice having you all to myself for a while.”
“I should be the one who’s saying this,” Y/n said quietly. “I’m the one sharing you with all the fans, and teammates. Even the press people see you more often than I do.” She chuckled.
“I know,” he answered sadly, realizing once again how hard it must be for her to watch him spend time with everyone but her. “I’ll make it up to you.”
Y/n turned around with a smile to face him, wrapped her hands around his neck and hid her face in his chest. She knew how much Pierre hated being away from her but she understood everything perfectly and although it was never easy she accepted it.
Pierre leaned down a little which gave her a signal to lift her head up and his lips gently and slowly pressed to hers. She ran her fingers through his hair while his hands were securely around her waist as if he was worried someone would take her away from him at any moment. “I think I’m gonna make it up to you right now.” He announced and carried her to their bedroom.
And so that’s how the rest of the vacation went; they enjoyed the silence and fresh air, went for walks around the town, cooked food together, and made love whenever they wanted. Most importantly their relationship was even better than it was before, and they realized how much they loved each other.
“Thank you for this vacation, my love,” Y/n said one evening as they walked around the vineyard. “I can’t describe how grateful I am for this. For you.”
Pierre stood still for a while unable to find the words to say. He would do anything for her just as she would for him and they both knew it. They had no doubts about their feelings for each other and everything that he could say was already said. And so he just took her into his arms and hugged her tighter than ever before, kissed her and they stayed like that until the sun was replaced by the moon.
#pierre luc dubois#pierre luc dubois imagine#pierre luc dubois writing#pierre luc dubois one shot#pierre luc dubois imagines#columbus blue jackets#columbus blue jackets imagine#columbus blue jacktes writing#columbus blue jackets one shot#columbus blue jackets imagines#nhl players imagine#hockey imagine#hockey one shot#hockey writing#hockey imagines#winnipeg jets#winnipeg jets imagine#winnipeg jets writing#winnipeg jets one shot#winnipeg jets imagines
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Hey pal me again, love your stuff. Could I get some yummy headcanons of piers with an s/o that can cook/bake really well? Specifically when he tries their cooking for the first time?
He knew you loved to cook, he had learned that within your first few conversations
He is a horrible cook so he jokes that he’d be happy for you to feed him sometime.
When that does happen, he’s in awe.
You made him spaghetti with garlic bread and some steamed vegetables because this boy needs his greens.
He still has no idea how you got those vegetables to taste that good. The secret is to make them a little less healthy with things like salt and oil but you don’t tell him that.
He continues to bug you to make him curry sometime, and when you do, it’s incredible.
You quickly become the main provider of food to him and Marnie. He doesn’t know how to cook and Marnie isn’t bad at it, but it’s not her priority.
Marnie really loves your food too, she came to you in confidence and asked you to feed Piers a decent diet because this boy doesn’t know how to feed himself and Marnie is worried about him.
You’re also really good at baking. If Piers has a bad day, you make him amazing chocolate chip cookies. They take almost a full day to prepare, but they’re well worth it.
You also make birthday cakes whenever its anyones birthday. And you theme it around their favorite thing which is really nice
Gonna tell yall right now cause we all need to eat more vegetables:
put ½ cup of olive oil or into a bowl or plastic bag, swirl vegetable in the oil (this works best with green beans or broccoli)
add a generous amount of salt and fresh pepper, half a lemon’s worth of juice, and (optional but highly reccomended) two finely minced garlic cloves to the bowl
mix these in with the vegetables well and let the mixture sit and settle in while you prepare the main dish.
When you have about ten to fifteen minutes of cooking time left on your main dish, start steaming the vegetables. This way, they’ll still be warm when your main dish is done.
If you chose to leave the garlic out earlier I still reccomend throwing a couple peeled garlic cloves into the steamer basket to add a little flavor without being overpowering.
Take the vegetables off the steamer, (If you can not easily spier them with a fork, they’re undercooked. If they fall apart when you try to stab them, they’re overcooked.)
Add about ¼ cup of fresh minced parsley and mix it in before serving.
Any herb or mix of herbs will work but I like how parsley pairs with the kick of lemon juice. Fresh herbs are a lot stronger so I recommend getting them when you can.
Also wash your vegetables and herbs, you don’t want to get sick
#swsh#pokemon swsh#pokemon#pokemon sword and shield#sword and shield#pokemon imagines#swsh imagines#imagines#swsh piers#pokemon piers#piers#irl-raihan
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so yesterday i posted what my personal werewolf lore was and so today you’re getting my vampire lore . like i stated in my wolf lore , this is open to tweaking and picking and choosing if things don’t match up with your lore . we can make things work between our lores ( :
also like my werewolf lore , i will more than likely add as i go on and more things come to me .
✚ unlike lycanthropy , vampirism is a disease alone . you cannot pass it down .
✚ there is no known information as to how the first vampire originated . the oldest known vampire is from the early 1100s , and he’s become so decrepit and crazy from living such a long life that nobody has ever gotten a straight or same answer . ✚ the only way someone can become a person is if they’re killed with a vampire’s blood in their system . this is usually done by drinking a vampire’s blood but it can’t also be injected , or poured into an open wound . ✚ vampires who sire new vampires often have a connection to their fledglings in the first couple of days . this can influence a fledeling’s habits . for example : a vampire on a binge who sires another vampire during this time will usually result in the fledgling going on a binge as well . ✚ a sire can also feel when a fledgling has been killed and vice versa . however the other passed , the other feels similar effects and pain , though at a muted level . unless they’re older , the moment incapacitates the vampire for at least a day .
✚ vampires are strongest during the full moon and weakest during the new moon .
✚ if a vampire is well-fed during a full moon , their strength . ✚ on the other hand , a vampire during a new moon often has a larger appetite and have less self-restraint when it comes to feeding . during new moons are when turnings are usually at their highest rate .
✚ vampires live in what are called covens .
✚ covens are usually led by one head , though larger covens have been known to have more than one . ✚ covens tend to house together or in the same area ( ie : all in the same apartment complex / neighborhood ) . they feel a pull to the members to stay close by one another in case of any sort of threats . ✚ covens often are very selective and exclusive . siring is something you get permission from your head and if you don’t , older covens are known for kicking the member out . ✚ ‘ lost covens ‘ are covens that are mainly made up of around ten older vampires and abandoned fledglings . they’re considered ‘ modern ‘ covens and sneered at by the older generations .
✚ attributes to vampires include : inhuman strength , senses and grace , supernatural healing abilities , and immortality as well as certain physical appearance changes .
✚ vampires are stronger than werewolves . their strength allows them to jump higher and further . as they age they become stronger . ✚ they’re extremely graceful and are light-footed . their footsteps are silent , and since they don’t actually need to breathe you can’t usually hear them come up behind you . ✚ their sight , smell , hearing and taste are all enhanced ; all stronger for the hunt . their hearing they can kind of control like one would the volume on their headphones and their sight can span up to about a half mile away . they can smell and taste things like , alcohol and drugs in someone’s blood system . ( this often gives a vampire similar side effects and seeked out at times . ) ✚ they’re immortal but can be killed . the easiest way is by staking them , but you can also decapitate them or burn them alive by stranding them in direct sunlight . ✚ a vampire’s eyes are usually a reddish-brown color ( #762700 to #6A2300 for html color reference ) . the younger the vampire the lighter the eye color . ✚ they’re skin is normally a lighter than when they were human but their don’t lose all of their melanin . ✚ their fangs are retractable , but their canines are sharper than the average human beings . ✚ they are very attractive beings . if you weren’t attractive as a human you sure as hell are now . ✚ they give off a natural pheromone that lures humans in unknowingly . to werewolves they just smell like they put too much perfume / cologne on .
✚ even the oldest of vampires cannot walk in direct sunlight .
✚ sunlight burns them , and can cause second to third degree burns . ✚ a vampire can walk in direct sunlight with the help of daylight jewelry . these are often in the form of rings and necklaces , though bracelets , watches and hair pieces have also been seen . the most common stone used is lapis lazuli but moonstone harvest during a full moon also works . ✚ they cannot walk around without their daylight accessories in cloudy or rainy weather . it’s thought that the uv rays are what effect them not necessarily just the sun’s rays .
✚ their bodies only receive nutrients from blood , but they can eat actual food .
✚ while they can eat human food for the sake of looking normal , they will end up throwing it up later on in the day . their bodies cannot digest actual food anymore . ✚ fresh blood is the best option when feeding , though bagged blood and even the blood of the already deceased and animals will work . much like produce though , the fresher the better though .
✚ a majority of vampire ‘ weaknesses ‘ are all fake .
✚ mirrors : vampires can see their reflections in the mirror as can others . ✚ garlic : it doesn’t keep them away but it does smell and they don’t like it . it’s not going to keep them away . ✚ holy water & religious symbols : holy water stings , but does not burn . ingesting it in large amounts will make one sick though . religious symbols burn , but some vampires will grow immune to it if they wear it long enough even then though ✚ invitation : a vampire does not need an invite in order to enter a residence .
✚ vampires can feel pain , though in a very vague sense
✚ major and minor cuts and stabbing ( with anything other than a wooden stake ) feel usually no more like a papercut or a cat scratch ✚ direct sunlight will give second to third degree burns depending on how long one is exposed to it . it feels like a very , very bad sunburn . if exposed for too long though it will kill a vampire .
✚ this are a few ways you can kill a vampire .
✚ it must be to the heart though in order to work . otherwise you’ve got a very irate vampire . any sort of wood will do for the job . ✚ decapitating a vampire will result in death . ✚ prolonged exposure to sunlight . ✚ starvation will eventually kill a vampire , though it is a long , slow , painful process and usually a vampire’s choice of killing another vampire .
✚ they do not have any correlation with bats and honestly don’t know where that thought came from .
✚ they don’t say bleh , bleh , bleh .
✚ vampires are able to have children , but as stated in the first bullet point , the vampire disease does not carry over .
✚ females are not able to have children .
✚ because of this , females are known to turn children as young as three years old . ✚ vampires who are turned so young , and up to age thirteen are often killed off early on because while their minds mature and grow their bodies do not and they often go mad because of it .
✚ many older vampires ( around as young as one hundred depending on self-restraint and work ethic ) are financially well off . this is just due to being able to save for so long .
✚ many vampires know how to play the system such as the stock market and pull out before anything crashes . ✚ many are in new technology . it isn’t uncommon for a vampire to be the founder of a new social media platform or app , especially in this day and age . ✚ some just spent the early days looting .
✚ vampires are able to compulse somebody to do something .
✚ this is normally how vampires get consent to feed on live humans . ✚ this is always a temporary thing . you cannot influence somebody for an extended time into the future and fades the farther you move away from said person . so you can’t tell somebody to do something in the future past an hour ( or up to six hours later if you are particularly skilled in this area ) ✚ while most people have a fuzzy recollection of that happened , most don’t remember it at all . the feeling is similar to being blacked out . ✚ you can warp a memory from the influence but it doesn’t extend past changing your appearance in the case the person remembers . ✚ older vampires can use this on younger vampires as well . in this case it’s usually with younger fledglings who are messengers .
✚ vampires are very territorial .
✚ this differs slightly from werewolves . while werewolves are territory in a land sort of sense , vampires are in a feeding ground sense ??? ✚ basically werewolves don’t like each other on their property at all . sure they have to co-exist in the same area and often cross pack territory lines on a regular basis but it doesn’t necessarily like it . ( take my muse jimin for example . the guy HATES non-pack members stepping foot into his house and if he could avoid walking into another pack’s territory he wold ) . meanwhile , vampires don’t care where you go as long as you don’t feed in their area . ✚ a vampire marks their coven’s feeding ground perimeters by usually leaving a ‘ blood mark ‘ on things such as telephone poles , fences , etc . ✚ a blood mark is exactly what it sounds like . the coven leader uses an open wound to stain the object with their blood . even when washed away or dried , a vampire can smell the blood and usually knows to steer clear . ✚ these marks aren’t permanent though and usually need to be redone every month to month in a half depending on what the weather is like . in the winter they can last up to almost three months . ✚ crossing feeding lines and feeding there commonly results in death . the coven of the vampire who crossed lines doesn’t hold it against the other because it’s viewed as SUPER disrespectful .
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Kiss of Life - Final chapter
So, after months of poor Dr Gold being socially awkward and emotionally constipated he finally (with the help of his friends) got his girl. It seems fitting to leave them in their happy place. Thanks to everyone who followed and commented and sent asks to these idiots! This is the end.
[Part 1] [Part 2] [Part 3] [Part 4] [Part 5] [Part 6] [Part 7] [Part 8] [Part 9] [Part 10] [Part 11] [Part 12] [Part 13] [Part 14] [Part 15] [Part 16] [Part 17] [Part 18] [Part 19] [Part 20] [Part 21] {Part 22] [Part 23] [Part 24] [Part 25] [Part 26] [Part 27] [Part 28]
AO3 link
Belle coughed, her eyes watering as she choked on the dust and what felt like the desiccated remains of a hundred insects, swept from the top of the stacks. She blinked rapidly, rubbing streaming eyes as she told herself to get higher on the ladder before trying to clean. Pushing herself up the rungs of the wheeled ladder, she tucked a dust-covered lock of hair behind her ear and coughed again as she looked over the top of the bookshelves.
After almost a full day’s cleaning, the library was looking much better. The books had been taken down and sorted into piles depending on whether they were staying or going, and she had made spreadsheet catalogue of everything she was keeping. She needed to start making a list of the titles she wanted to procure, as well, but that could wait. The Mayor’s allowance would have to be used wisely.
All the stacks bar the one she was standing on had been cleaned, the windows washed, light bulbs replaced and the blinds taken down and scrubbed. The library was brighter and lighter, almost free from dust (she still had to mop the floor once she’d finished with the stacks) and smelling of orange oil and Windex. The circulation desk was clear, awaiting the new computer system she had been promised, along with a new chair and the children’s supplies she had ordered.
She finished cleaning the shelving, rubbing vigorously to ensure the last speck of dust was removed, and heard a faint creak from the library door, followed by a rhythmic tapping. Smiling to herself, she kept her back to the noise. She had a fairly good idea who was making it.
“Well, there’s a lovely sight.”
Gold’s voice floated upwards, and Belle grinned, turning a little so that she could eye him over her shoulder. He was smiling up at her, hands folded over the handle of his cane, in the black suit and red shirt combination she liked so much.
“I could say the same about you,” she said. “What are you doing here?”
“We had a date, remember?”
“At seven,” she reminded him.
“It is seven,” he said gently.
“It is?” Belle groaned. “No wonder my feet hurt! I’m sorry, I didn’t realise.”
“No matter,” he said. “It’s not as though we made a reservation anywhere.”
He held up a hand, and she turned to take it, using him for balance as she stepped down to the floor. She dropped the dirty rag into a bucket of murky water and wiped her hands on her overalls before stretching up on her toes to kiss him and then dropping back onto her heels.
“Sorry, I’m a disgusting, dirty mess,” she said.
“You look beautiful.”
“I bet I have dust on my nose,” she said, and he grinned, his eyes twinkling.
“Well, that’s true, but you’re still beautiful.”
“Flatterer.” She slipped her arms around his waist, letting out a contented sigh. “Want to come upstairs and check the apartment out with me? I could do with taking a shower.”
“Why don’t I let you do that?” he suggested. “I seem to remember you telling me that the apartment is somewhat lacking in furniture.”
“Nothing but a rickety old kitchen table and chairs,” she confirmed ruefully. “I need to get that sorted. Ruby said she’d drive me out to the next town to pick up a bed on Monday.”
“Does the shower work?”
“Yeah, there’s nothing wrong with the hot water,” she said. “The whole thing needs a good clean and a lick of paint and a little TLC, but it’ll be nice and cosy when I’m done.”
“And do you have something to change into?” he asked, and she nodded.
“Brought over a bunch of my stuff this morning,” she said. “I figured I might as well start moving in. It’ll encourage me to clean the place up.”
“In that case, I’ll wait down here,” he said. “I’ll see if I can rustle up some dinner for us.”
“Good, I’m starving!”
She kissed him again, and trotted off to the door that led to the staircase up to her apartment. The place looked somewhat forlorn, the single bedroom empty of anything but the suitcase she had brought over, a fine layer of dust and two dead flies on the windowsill. Belle was certain that she could make it into a home, and was excited by the prospect. She took a towel, toiletries and a clean outfit into the bathroom, and turned on the shower. At least she had thought to clean the bathroom, so she had somewhere clean to get changed. She would have to return to her father’s that evening, though; she didn’t have the energy to clean any more of the rooms, and she had nothing to sleep on in any case.
The water was pleasantly hot, a decent amount of pressure coming out, and she spent some time in the shower, scrubbing the dust and grime from herself and washing her hair. Once out, she dried off and dressed in a little woollen dress in dark green over tights and comfortable boots. A small cardigan kept the chill from her, and she brushed out her hair and applied a little lipstick before heading back down the stairs. The gentle sound of music was floating up from the library, something classical and soothing that made her smile.
“Sorry I took so long,” she said, as she rounded the corner into the library. “I was—”
She cut off, mouth falling open. The library blinds had been drawn, the light dim except for thick candles flickering on the circulation desk and around a thick blanket, set with cushions. Gold was standing next to it, looking by turns nervous and self-satisfied, his jacket draped over the desk to reveal his waistcoat and the red silk shirt beneath. There was a vase of flowers, red roses and lush greenery, and an ice bucket with an open bottle of champagne sticking out of it. She could smell something savoury, garlic and herbs and wine, and she caught his eye with a grin.
“A picnic?” she said, and he shrugged.
“We did have a date, after all.”
Belle smiled broadly, and wandered over to the blanket, settling herself down on the cushions.
“How did you manage to arrange all this?” she asked.
“Well, Dorothy and Jefferson helped me carry everything to the car,” he said, getting down beside her. “As for the food, I arranged for that to be delivered. Fresh pasta from Marco’s. I hope that’s alright.”
“Delicious.”
She settled back with a sigh as he went about preparing their meal, opening up dishes and setting them down between them. The savoury scents were stronger, and Belle sniffed eagerly.
“Baked rigatoni, and ravioli with a squash and sage filling,” he said. “There’s a little basil pesto on that one. Help yourself. There’s garlic bread, too.”
Belle took a fork and dug in, watching as melted cheese stretched and snapped before taking a mouthful of the rigatoni. Rich ragu sauce made her mouth water, and she made a contented noise as she chewed. Gold grinned, and reached behind him for some champagne flutes, pouring them each a glass. Belle put her fork down to take hers, and he raised his own, holding her gaze.
“To us,” he said quietly, and they clinked glasses before taking a sip.
The champagne was crisp and fruity, foaming on her tongue, and Belle set down her glass and sighed happily. He was grinning at her, eyes twinkling, and she took up her fork again, this time aiming for the ravioli.
“This is amazing,” she said. “You’re just the best, really.”
“We should start as we mean to go on, don’t you think?”
“Candlelit pasta picnics in the library?” She winked at him. “I’m in.”
He grinned, taking a forkful of rigatoni, and there was silence for awhile as they ate. Belle mopped up pesto sauce with a piece of garlic bread, and then speared a piece of ravioli and popped it into her mouth. Gold licked oil from his thumb and shifted a little, lounging back against the cushions. He glanced across at her, raising an eyebrow.
“How is Operation Librarian going, then?”
Belle chuckled, and reached for her champagne, taking a sip.
“I’ve mostly sorted the books into what’s staying and what’s going,” she said. “I need to make a list of the titles I need, and get the equipment in her and set up. At the moment I’m thinking we should be able to open in a week or so. Providing the computer system works and the books I order arrive.”
“Exciting.”
“It is.” She dipped bread into the rigatoni sauce, enjoying the pungent taste of garlic and herbs and the richness of tomato sauce and olive oil on her tongue. “I had a talk with the elementary school. I’m going to run some after-school classes with the kids. I thought I’d keep the hospital library service going too, only this time I should have more of a selection of books for the patients to choose.”
“Sounds as though you’re really finding your feet,” he said. “If I can help at all, let me know.”
“I may need kisses and snuggles after my long days,” she said, pouting, and he grinned.
“Consider it done.”
She smiled, and took another sip of wine before digging into the pasta again.
“I told my dad I was moving out, too,” she said. “He wasn’t happy.”
“Ah.”
Gold’s voice was neutral, and Belle sighed.
“It wasn’t just about you,” she said. “Although he was a pain in the arse about that, too. It’s just - I don’t think he wants to be on his own. He doesn’t seem to get that I might want my own life, that I have things to do other than look after him.”
“He managed when you were at college, I presume.”
“Yeah, that’s what I said. Guess he got used to having me around.”
“That doesn’t mean you have to put your own life on hold, however.”
“Good, because I have no intention of doing so.”
They shared a smile, and Gold reached for his drink.
“Well, here’s to your new life,” he said, raising the glass. “Belle French, Librarian Extraordinaire. Keeper of the Secrets of Storybrooke and Bringer of Knowledge.”
“Granter of Library Cards, Protector of the Stock, and Seeker of the Overdue Tomes,” added Belle.
“Long may she reign,” said Gold solemnly, and they clinked glasses as Belle giggled.
They finished off the pasta, and Belle wiped the last piece of garlic bread around one of the dishes, chewing it up before sucking olive oil from her fingers with a contented hum. Gold was watching her, a tiny smile on his face.
“Done?”
“Done,” she said, with a sigh. “That was delicious.”
He cleared away the dishes, packing everything into the bag it had arrived in, ready for the trash, and poured them another glass of champagne. Belle settled back against the cushions, pleasantly full and happy, and he shifted a little, edging closer. Belle turned on her side, leaning over to kiss him gently.
“This was perfect,” she whispered. “Thank you.”
Gold reached up, gently brushing a curl back from her cheek, finger trailing along her jawline.
“That was only the first course,” he said, and she groaned.
“I couldn’t eat another thing!”
“All the more for me, then,” he said, with a grin, and she frowned.
“Wait, what is it?”
“Tiramisu,” he said. “But it can wait, don’t worry.”
“Not too long…”
She leaned in, pressing her mouth to his, and his hand slid around to cup her head, holding her as they kissed, his tongue gently stroking against hers. He broke the kiss, soft lips parting, and his eyes were gleaming darkly.
“There are other things we could do,” he murmured, his voice low and filled with promise. “Things I know you’ll like.”
“Hmm.” She smirked at him. “Getting you naked one time appears to have improved your confidence. I like it.”
“Well, it was a very memorable experience,” he said, brushing a thumb over her lower lip. “Life-changing, in fact.”
“For me, too.”
She kissed him again, more urgently, and he shifted closer, his hand sweeping down her back and tugging her closer before slowly rolling her onto her back. Belle moaned, stroking her fingers through his hair, enjoying the taste of him and the firm weight of his body atop hers. Gold pulled his mouth from hers, kissing down her neck and making her shiver.
“Fooling around in the library,” he murmured. “We’ll get in trouble.”
“Don’t worry,” she gasped. “I’m not expecting either of us to stay silent.”
“Good.”
He kissed lower, hands sliding down her body, cupping her breasts and tracing the curves of her waist and hips before tugging at the dress and pulling it upwards. Belle pushed up a little, shrugging off the cardigan, and he knelt up, tugging the dress over her head and tossing it aside before lowering her back down. The air was cool on her skin, but his body was warm, his touch welcome, and she let her head roll back against the cushions as he kissed down over her belly, fingers hooking over the waistband of her tights and underwear and pulling them down in one.
It felt strange, lying there in the midst of the candlelit library on a pile of blankets and cushions, practically naked. Belle closed her eyes, losing herself in the press of his lips and the sweep of his tongue as he pushed her thighs apart, and she rose up with a moan of pleasure as his tongue flickered over her clit. Gold groaned, hands flat against her thighs, his breath hot against her tender flesh, his tongue soft and wet.
“That’s so good!” she whispered.
He began to lick her in a slow, steady rhythm, sending jolts of pleasure through her with every circling pass of his tongue. She had curled her fingers in his hair, soft locks wrapped around them, and his tongue flickered and swirled, making her moan, a flush blooming in her cheeks and at the top of her chest. His hand moved a little, one finger stroking through wet flesh, gently pushing inside her as his tongue swept over her clit. The feel of it increased the sensations, and she moaned, pushing her hips upward a little to let him slide deeper. Slowly, he drew out the finger almost all the way before thrusting it in again, and Belle let out a tiny cry, feeling her body grow taut, feeling her climax approach. He thrust into her again, tongue flickering, and she whimpered, rocking her hips, wanting more of him inside her, wanting all of him.
She sucked in a breath and held it, her pulse pounding in her throat, and exhaled loudly as she came with a loud cry, her body jerking. Gold groaned again, pulling the finger from her and putting his mouth to her once more, his tongue swirling over her flesh. She tried to catch her breath, letting an arm fall over her eyes as her chest heaved, and he began kissing his way back up over her belly until he was braced on the palms of his hands. She let the arm fall to the side, and he was gazing down at her, a smile on his face and a soft look in his eyes. His mouth and chin glistened with fluid, and she watched as he wiped it off with a swift movement of his palm.
“Well, look who’s overdressed,” she said, a little breathlessly, and reached up to tug at the knot in his tie.
It didn’t take long to get him naked; he remembered to take off his shoes before his pants this time, as he dryly remarked upon. Belle giggled as she pushed the shirt from his shoulders, his own hands shoving frantically at his underwear.
“Patience, Dr Gold,” she chided.
“Fuck patience,” he growled. “You taste too good for patience.”
She chuckled, reaching for one of the condoms he had dropped on the blankets, and tore open the packet just as he finally tossed his underwear into the darkness beyond the candles. Within moments he was pushed up against her, Belle’s hands on his shoulders, her chest heaving as she met his eyes. He was breathing heavily, and pressed his forehead to hers, a moment of calm.
“I love you,” he whispered, and she nodded.
“I love you too.”
He moved, pushing inside her slowly, and she gasped, knees drawing up, feeling him sink deep, a low groan coming from him as his body pressed against hers, his cock buried within her. She wrapped her legs around his back, holding him close, feeling the heat from his body, the wetness where they were joined. He began to move with slow, grinding motions of his hips, tight circles letting him rub against her as he pushed deep inside, and Belle moaned, clinging to him, nails leaving crescent-shaped indents in the skin of his back. It felt incredible, and she let her hips lift and fall, increasing the friction between them, sending waves of pleasure through her body.
“God, that’s amazing!” she whispered.
He bent his head to kiss her neck, mouth sucking at her pulse point, his tongue sweeping over her skin. She could smell her own scent on him, her arousal mixed with the musk of his sweat, and she tightened her grip on him, holding him close, pressing kisses to his cheek, his jaw, his throat. Gold thrust deep with a groaning gasp, his cock hard and rigid inside her. He quickened his pace, hips pumping, and let out a harsh cry as he came, his cock pulsing. Belle moaned, pumping her hips against his, the sensations taking her with him in a wave of pleasure and a rush of heat.
He was still moving with short, shallow thrusts, and she kissed along his jaw, nipping at his chin. His mouth found hers, and his movements slowed and stopped as he kissed her, a deep rumble of contentment vibrating through them. Gold let their lips part, breathing hard, his nose just brushing hers, and Belle smiled happily.
“Well,” she murmured. “That was wonderful.”
He grinned, kissing her again, and shifted a little, pushing himself up on his elbows, fingers idly stroking her hair as their breathing eased. Belle glanced around, noting that one of the candles had gone out. Bookshelves were square blocks of shadow beyond them, thin strips of yellowish light coming in through the blinds from the streetlights outside.
“I wonder if that’s the first action the library has seen,” she said, and Gold chuckled.
“With any luck it won’t be the last.”
“Not if this librarian has anything to say about it, that’s for sure.”
His grin widened, specks of gold gleaming in his eyes, his skin warm in the candlelight. There was a softness in his gaze, a look of tender devotion that made her heart thump a little harder, and his finger trailed across her cheek, tracing its curve.
“Move in with me,” he murmured, and Belle blinked.
“What?”
He smiled.
“Move in with me.”
She opened and closed her mouth, her heart thumping.
“Are you serious?”
“Absolutely.”
“Wow,” she remarked flatly. “So it takes you months to work up the courage to ask me out, and now you have there’s no stopping you, hmm? What happened to Mr I Overthink Everything?”
He shrugged.
“Maybe it feels right to ask precisely because I spent so long overthinking everything.”
“So you’ve thought about this a lot, then?”
“I have.” He kissed her forehead. “My house needs you in it. I knew it the moment I woke up with you. Actually, fuck it, I knew the moment you left after having the flu, I just didn’t want to admit it. I love you, and I want to wake up beside you and make you breakfast and snuggle up with a book every night.”
Belle smiled, her heart swelling with love for him, and stroked his cheek with a gentle finger, brushing a lock of his hair away before it flopped back.
“Tell me more,” she whispered.
“I want to buy groceries together and cook while we drink wine and sing along to music,” he said. “I want to dance with you in the kitchen and take bubble baths and drink tea on the back porch while we watch the snow fall.”
“You didn’t even get to the hot sex part and I’m sold.”
He grinned at that, leaning in a little.
“Oh, there’ll be plenty of hot sex,” he growled, and Belle giggled.
“Well, since you’re so full of surprises and clearly have no intention of taking things slow, are you planning on proposing any time soon?” she asked, with a wry grin. “Be nice to have a little warning, if so.”
“That was my plan for Tuesday,” he said gravely, and she giggled again, stroking her fingers through his hair.
“Okay, now I know you’re not serious.”
“Well, not about that,” he admitted. “Not yet, anyway. But I do think it makes complete sense for you to move in.”
“You sound sure of yourself,” she teased.
“Yes.” He kissed her nose, and then winced. “But not that sure, so please put me out of the misery of this budding anxiety attack. Will you move in with me?”
This time she kissed him, a generous, open-mouthed kiss that took a little time to wind down. Belle pulled back, smiling up at him.
“I’d love to,” she whispered. “But can you wait a few months?”
He blinked.
“Of course,” he said. “We can wait as long as you like. What is it?”
“Nothing,” she said quickly. “It’s just - well, I went from my dad’s place to college, and then from college back to my dad’s, and if I come straight to you - well, I’d kind of like to prove I can make it on my own first, you know?”
“I understand,” he said gently. “I’ll even help you decorate this place, if you like.”
“And risk getting paint on one of your suits?” she said, tutting. Gold grinned.
“I was thinking we could wear painting overalls,” he said. “Or just do it naked, that could be fun.”
“We could get a canvas and throw paint at each other and roll around on it,” she said. “Create a background art piece for the next nude calendar you do.”
She giggled as he tickled her, and kissed him again.
“I love you,” she whispered. “I really do.”
“Well, I love you too,” he said. “How long are you gonna make me wait?”
“Hmm…” She pursed her lips. “Let’s say first of May. That seems an excellent time, wouldn’t you agree?”
He smiled, a sudden flash of sadness in his eyes.
“Neal’s birthday,” he whispered, and Belle bit her lip.
“Oh,” she said. “Oh, I didn’t realise. Well, we can pick another day, if you—”
“No,” he said quickly. “No, it’s perfect. The two best things in my life, coming to me on the same date. It’s perfect.”
He kissed her again, lips gently pulling at hers, and Belle thought as though she would burst with happiness. She settled back against the cushions with a sigh, reaching up to cup his face with her palm.
“So, this is it,” she said. “The doctor and the librarian, making a life together.”
“Against all the odds,” he added. “The misunderstandings, the insecurities…”
“The doctor putting his foot firmly in his mouth every five minutes…”
“We got there in the end,” she said. “And I love you.”
“Yes.” He kissed her nose. “And I love you too.”
She reached up, lips finding his, gently pushing them apart so that her tongue could slide inside. Gold rolled onto his side, his arms going around her and hugging her close as the candles sent out their flickering light into the dark of the library.
#fic: kiss of life#dr!gold x candy striper!belle#rumbelle fic#my fic#rumbelle#rather large estate#rumbelle smut#lemons
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Bluejay, God of Pasta
A lighthearted take on what Bluejay could do with the power of Overwrite, if he had the mind to do so. This is part of an AU outcome of dreamswap by @onebizarrekai
More information on this AU can be found here @phases-of-the-fallen
warnings: food mention
tagslist: @anxiety-is-married-to-depression @angelofthehalfmoon @trainwreck-of-skeletons @hisame-amadashi @therandomskelekey @capisnotonfire
A broad, unsettling grin had appeared on Bluejay's face as he stalked closer to Sparrow, noting that the other was fully absorbed in his paperwork. From the sizes of the stacks around him, the other had been diligently working for hours and hours. Which was just as well, because he had something special to show the other. He teleports directly behind Sparrow’s chair, draping himself around one of his loves, pressing a light kiss to one of the other’s cheeks, his hands sliding across the other’s shoulders, and down his chest “Hmmm, good afternoon, darling.”
Sparrow tensed a little bit at the unexpected touch, and his hand jerks, causing a messy line to appear across half of the page that he’d been ever so carefully writing on. “B...Bluejay! I… Hadn’t expected you to b-be here so soon. Y-You said that you had an i-idea for a project and w-wandered off a couple of d-days ago.” The other was shaking just a little bit and there was an unfortunate amount of nervousness and fear in the golden-winged being’s aura.
“Hmm… What’s with all of this fear, Sparrow? You haven’t been misbehaving in my absence, have you?” Bluejay asked, frowning a little, his eye lights narrowing a little as he leaned around the other’s chair to look at the other directly “If you have… You *do* know it’s better to confess now, rather than wait until I find out what it was that you did, right?” There was a hint of a warning in his voice.
Sparrow sunk in on himself and shook his head, answering after a moment, his voice a bit stronger “I haven’t done anything you haven’t told me to, or gone against your rules, I am just… Surprised to see you back so soon. Usually you’re gone for weeks when you’re working on a project.”
Jay hummed and nodded at that - fair. He usually had been gone for weeks at a time - still… He disliked the fact that Sparrow was still so tentative around him, but hopefully this project really would remind the other that he had done what he had in order to help. “Yes, that’s true… But this new project came together much faster than I was anticipating! And I want you to see the results of it. I’m sure that you’ll find it quite helpful, my darling.” With that he darted around the chair, scooped up his adorably short boyfriend, and teleported the two of them to another timeline in one fluid motion.
Sparrow gasped and tensed at the sudden movement, staring at the empty timeline the two of them were in, in utter confusion “I… What… What happened to this world?” They were currently in Snowdin - but the ground looked far different than normal.
“Well, since no one lives in this timeline, and you have mentioned that there’s been a shortage of food in a couple of timelines that you’ve been struggling to find the appropriate resources for… I decided to do something about it, using this unused timeline.” Bluejay explained, setting one of his loves down. “Taste the snow.”
Not really wanting to, but knowing better than to disobey a direct order from Jay - even when the other is in such a pleasant mood, Sparrow kneels down cautiously in the snow - blinking as he realizes that he doesn’t feel the icy touch of the frozen water. He brings a handful of the strangely rough, off-white substance to his mouth, taking a cautious bite. His eyes widen and he stares at the ground in utter confusion “This… This tastes like parmesan and mozzarella cheese?”
“Yes! I converted each of the sections of Snowden and the forest outside of it to different kinds of cheeses that would go on top of pastas - including a couple of different kinds of vegan cheeses in a couple of isolated spots, so that everyone could have some! And, like the snow in Snowdin, it’s completely renewable resource! Come, see Noodle Falls and Sauceland!” Jay responded with an eager grin, scooping up Sparrow and running happily through the ankle-deep cheese snow, until they reached the beginning of the waterfall area. Instead of water, what fell from the ceiling was an endless supply of noodles.
Many of them were spaghetti noodles, but sometimes there would be a shower of tortellini or ravioli. Sometimes spiralini noodles would twist and dance, and Sparrow had to dodge a massive barrage of lasagne noodles before they smacked him in the face. He snagged a tortellini and ate it - his eye lights brightening at the delicious taste, and how perfectly cooked it was “This is… This is really good.”
“I’m glad that you like it! I also have different kinds of noodles in each of the sections of waterfall, including gluten free, vegan and other specialized kinds of noodles! I do want to be sure to be able to feed *everyone* as much of any kind of pasta that they so desire, without said pasta making them sick. Onwards to Sauceland!” Jay responded with a huge grin on his face as he continued to drag his beloved around this altered world. There were many delicious sauces - each labeled carefully and separated so that nothing could get cross-contaminated.
“The Core and the castle I have altered as well. There are different kinds of garlic breads in the core, and as for the castle… Well, I decided that an endless supply of delicious sweets and good drinks - both alcoholic and not - would be just the *perfect* endpoint. So, what do you think? I’m quite sure that it will solve your food shortage issue.” Jay responded, eagerly bouncing a little as he waited for Sparrow to respond.
The fact that Bluejay could so entirely alter an entire AU like this was terrifying. But if the food stores here were truly endless… Yes, it would do a great deal of good. “This will help a lot… Thank you, Bluejay. Although I’m not sure if everyone in the affected AUs like pasta, the warm, hot meals will be better than the very little that they currently have.” Sparrow responded, choosing his words with care, though he was genuinely grateful for the other’s help. He walked closer to Jay, going up on his tiptoes and wrapping his arms around the other’s waist, nuzzling into the other’s chest. “Really, this will do a lot of good. Return me home, so I can inform the proper people of the location of this world, so that food distribution can begin?”
“Sure thing, darling.” Bluejay grinned, teleporting the both of them back to JR’s headquarters.
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my keto experience
Intro/TL:DR
As a preface I can report that I lost 17lbs in 30 days while strictly adhering to a keto diet. I'm a 34 year old canadian woman who works from home as an artist and a huge helping factor for me was the freedom to stay home on the bad days and the ability to purchase fresh meats and vegetables on a weekly basis. This is a really tough diet but if you put the right pieces in place, it might work for you too. Additionally, I am NOT a dietitian/nutritionist in any way, shape, or form. Everything posted here is from my own experience and a modicum of research on the net. Please double-check my facts before you begin this diet for yourself.
Is keto for you?
The first and hardest question to ask yourself about a ketosis diet is, Can I Endure this? And you should not feel any guilt if the answer to that question is no, because this is a very invasive and aggressive diet that will cause you physical pain even if just for a brief amount of time. Similar to vegetarianism, or is extreme cousin, veganism, a keto diet involves cutting out large swaths of the food pyramid to facilitate this diet. This does not mean going hungry, the foods that are removed will be replaced with other foods, only without any (or minimal) artificial or natural sugars. Sugar is just a chemical, which doesn't sound like a huge sacrifice, right? Most adults don't bother adding sugar to anything other than tea or coffee, but sugar is much more deeply rooted in our lives than you may realize.
Carbohydrates can be found in virtually every type of ready-to-serve foods: breads, wraps, pastas, fried snacks, hors d'oeuvre (these are examples of things I ate before this diet). All of these delicious and very satisfying foods have a fiber content and sugar content. You're still allowed to consume these, and I encourage you do so, but make sure to monitor the grams of total carbohydrates you consume that day. During this diet you will only be allowed to consume 20 grams (to 50 grams, depending on your body and personal needs) a day. remember this. Those 20 grams of carbs maybe the difference between you having a normal day and one of the worst days of your life.
Before I chose to begin a keto diet, I had been exercising casually (as before I was sedentary, more details on this later) and consuming about half as many carbohydrates as I had normally done in my life before. During the two years I was living this way, I was able to lose approximately 20lbs (from about 230 to 210). If you're starting your diet or lifestyle change from scratch, maybe try starting here first. Its significantly slower (10lbs in nearly a year), but it will not cause any pain or significant inconvenience.
What’s the big deal?/What to eat?
Sugar is a chemical, and more than that, its a drug that your body has been dependent on since you were a wee baby in your mama’s belly. Sugar makes your brain work and when you mess with your brain’s intake of the all-important-life-sauce it goes into panic mode. In the first 2-3 days (up to 6 if your me!) you will literally, physically go into a state of depression. Many had described it to me as ‘keto flu’ but as a survivor of 2009s Swine flu, I can most assuredly tell you that keto is much, MUCH worse.
First, my appetite became very finicky (and i'm already a very picky eater). I had no desire to eat the genuinely tasty keto meals that my boyfriend had lovingly prepared. I didn't want to draw, and I wasn't even in the mood to play easy video games. All I felt like doing was crying or sleeping (which I did, for 9 hours in the middle of my 3rd day). This is why, whenever I speak to someone who’s even moderately interested in this diet to BOOK TIME OFF YOUR JOB!!! It’s inconceivable to me to be forced to face other human beings in this state of physical distress. You need to pamper yourself while in this state in order to endure it and ensure your success.
There was one more bump in the road around the one-week point but i'm fairly certain it came down to a combination of dehydration and moodiness (period) so perhaps that was an outlier. Either way, water is the key when you start feeling shitty. Get yourself a nice BPA-free water bottle that you're comfortable carrying around and keeping full of fresh water. Once your body is in ketosis (you can check using those little paper sticks you pee on from the drug store, wash your hands!) you will get tired and moody the very instant you become hungry at mealtimes. Sometimes you don't even feel the familiar hunger pangs from your previous diet and mistake it for just a general bad mood. Always have a sip of water, babes; that’s your brain telling you to hydrate.
Alternatively, after eating a keto meal you still may feel hungry or unsatisfied, even sad (longing for your favourite dessert). This is where those 20g of carbs come in pretty clutch. Finding your perfect portion of reward may be impossibly difficult, I can only tell you what made me feel better when I got the cravings. Blueberries are quite sweet, they have a lot of natural sugar, but a handful of them sufficed as an incredibly sweet treat (some keto dieters have proclaimed that ‘regular things taste much sweeter than before’, I didn't experience this). Minigo/iogo yoghurt cups are fatty and sweet and work as a decent replacement to ice cream (count the carbs!). On extra tough mornings (in addition to bacon and eggs! Totally keto!) we would split a cavendish oven-fried hashbrown (about 15g; 7.5g split between my partner and I).
There are a surprising amount of natural foods that are not keto, but in careful proportions, can be incorporated into a daily keto diet. Most every fruit (that I checked) is very sugary but can make for a nice dessert. ��Certain vegetables like carrots or potato have too many carbs to be anything more than a boost when you feel shitty. Red onions have a very small amount of carbs (sugar and fibre work together to your benefit!) and server to replace pasta as a side to a nice steak dinner.
On that note, you need fibre to make your BMs move. Cutting carbs from your life means your number 2’s go bunny mode…. Take a sugar-free metamucil on any day where you have more meat during a meal than other types of food, or the toilet will be a nightmare.
Meals:
Cutting away pastas, breads, and other sides seems like an insane task but with some discipline and creativity, it's quite manageable. Breakfast didn't change much: eggs any way (sunny side for me, cheddar omelette for my BF) with bacon or sausage. Lunch was some combination of chicken breast and various salads (so many salad dressings are low or no carb! Read the back!). On steak night, we replace noodles with sauteed red onions fried and seasoning. Snacktime was usually pre-sliced cheddar cheese (go NUTS that shit is A-OK!), unsalted peanuts (other nuts have marginally more carbs, almonds and sunflower are moderate, check what works for you), or small amounts of beef jerky. Accompany those snacks with a big drink of water, or if you've had enough of that, certain drinks are acceptable like tea or coffee (with sweetner and high fat milk, skim milk is too sugary), diet sodas, sugarfree drink mix (migo, nestea). Just remember water, water, water.
Is it worth it? Pros/Cons
Cons:
-HURTS LIEK DRUG WITHDRAWL (you're literally coming down from the lifelong chemical addiction of sugar. It hurts like Trainspotting)
-MEAT (you will be consuming a lot of animal product)
-POOP (even when you have your metamucil, the toilet can take some time)
-SWEETS (the cravings for your favourite yumyums will almost never stop, it takes monk-like discipline)
-BORING (you can't go out and enjoy meals/drinks with friends and family without them or the restaurant making odd or even crappy exceptions. Keto menu options are slowly becoming popular though)
-TIRED (the first week or two will be very tedious and you won’t have any energy, even your favourite hobbies may seen unfulfilling for a time)
-ALCOHOL (basically none, unless you like vodka and sugarfree mix, you'll get drunk a lot quicker and end up feeling shittier without carbs in your body to process the liquor)
Pros:
-INSTANT RESULTS (in my first week i lost nearly 10lbs, and then two for every subsequent week. note that, just like any diet, there will be bounce-back)
-APPETITE LOSS (once you get into the swing of this, after the 2 week mark, you’ll find you no longer are pained when your hungry and the bigger cravings subside)
-BUDGET (this is a bit of an odd one and may not necessarily reflect your cost benefits. Before engaging in this diet, my BF and I discovered we were spending too much money on restaurants and leaving the food in the fridge to waste. This was primarily because we were too lazy to cook. Getting off our asses and cooking 6 days of the week made an immediate impact on this for us. If you already do that, this won't apply. Concurrently, we spent more money at the grocery store ensuring we always had fresh meat and vegetables; this did net us positive)
-REWARDING MEALS (having to stop and think about what it takes to make a tasty and satisfying meal has forced us to look at things in a different way. Making yourself and your partner a healthy, supremely tasty meal gets those endorphins peaking)
-EXERCISE (Unnecessary! Your choice! Just note that building muscle increases your weight as muscle weights more than fat)
My fave meals:
-Coffee (reluctantly replacing 1tsp of sugar with a fairy-dust sprinkling of sweetner cos i HATE sweetner, its 20-30x stronger than sugar so you only need 1/20th as much)
-Eggs and bacon!!! (sausage sometimes too)
-Garlic grilled chicken with spinach salad (onions, sliced almonds, feta, dressing)
-Steak and red onions (meat rare and onions grilled with seasoning)
-Spicy ground pork tacos (replace the taco/burrito with large boston lettuce leaves, shredded cheddar, green onions, diced tomato, dab of ranch sauce)
-Baked chicken breast stuffed with ricotta and spinach, topped with parmesan
-Slow-cooked pulled pork slathered with sharp cheddar (just eat with a fork!)
-Baked shrimp with garlic butter and parmesan
-Jalapenos stuffed with ricotta, cream cheese and cheddar, then wrapped in a strip of bacon (great late-night snack)
-Even changing the texture of a cheese can change the taste of the meal. Shredded cheddar adds a salty bite to a lettuce wrap, grated parmesan can trick a baked chicken breast into thinking its breaded. creamy cheeses can replace other baking sauces entirely.
-Diet pops (make sure its 0 sugar!), and tea/coffees with sweetner are fine, they do contain a lot of sodium though, make sure to drink 1-for-1 with water (meaning: every diet coke or tea you have, accompany it with the same amount of plain water so your body can process it and pee it out).
Variations/Control:
Vitamins: It should be noted that I take a daily multivitamin (C3+D) as I generally don't get enough sun or fruits. I highly recommend you take these just in general. They help keep skin soft and blemish free (I initially began taking these because of acne on upper arms and it cleared within days).
Activity: As briefly mentioned earlier, I began shifting from sedentary (not moving much, sitting for hours a day) to a more active lifestyle about 2-3 years ago. This entailed a personal regimen of making an attempt at physical activity approximately half the days of the month (period week was generally excluded). Every other day I would attempt one of the following: walking at least 2km, 15-20m of floor exercises (‘lady push-ups’, sit-ups), 15-20m of time on the indoor bike, or an hour of house related chores (lifting, laundry, cleaning, anything that involves getting sweaty). In addition to these, yoga is peppered into my lifestyle as frequently as possibly, particularly in the morning before breakfast. On days where i'm unable to exercise, I at least attempt the basic yoga poses to stave off my (no-longer chronic) back pain.
#personal#diet#keto diet#ketosis#okay to reblog#no one proofread this for me...#ill try to keep edits to a minimum
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Pasta salad recipes
#Pasta salad recipes full
You may already know that there are different kinds of cold pasta recipes worth trying: the creamy macaroni salad you remember as a kid and the lighter, vinegary variety made without the mayo. Whether you're cooking for a crowd or just looking for a quick lunch to take to the park, these pasta salads are sure to be hit. They're creative enough to stand on their own but would also pair well with just about all your favorite summer recipes. That's why we've rounded up the best pasta salad recipes that are anything but boring. On the other hand, a really good pasta salad can take your cookout from simple to extraordinary.
#Pasta salad recipes full
Store in fridge up to 3 days in an airtight container.Pasta salad is one of those BBQ sides that can go completely overlooked if it's not done right, especially if your table is full of tasty mains like burgers, grilled chicken recipes, and Ladd Drummond's grilled tenderloin.Also for a cold and refreshing salad during hot summer months, allow 1 – 2 hours for refrigerating before serving.Allow pasta salad some time to marinade so the veggies and pasta absorb more flavor.Cut ingredients small for uniformity and so you can get some of each flavor in every bite.Just right to al dente or even 30 seconds shy. Don’t cook pasta past al dente or the pasta will become super soggy once it absorbs some dressing.Just cut back a little on the herbs added if it has a strong herby taste. If in a rush you can use 1 cup of your favorite store-bought Italian dressing.I just prefer the freshness of the lemon. 3 Tbsp red wine vinegar can be used in place of the lemon juice.Dressing: Extra virgin olive oil or refined standard olive oil may be used here depending on how much of that flavor you want to shine through (extra virgin olive oil is stronger in flavor).It’s much less because it’s stronger and has a different taste. Use 1 1/2 tsp dried basil if you don’t have fresh.Kalamata olives for black olives (use half the amount they are quite pungent).Veggies: Try cucumber in place of half of the bell pepper.Meat: Pepperoni could be used for salami (you don’t need to use quite as much).Processed block mozzarella can be substituted for fresh, just cut into small cubes.Cheeses: Romano cheese works well for parmesan cheese here.Pasta: You can use another medium size pasta such as fusilli, gemelli, penne, cavatappi or bow tie pasta.Here are a some great ideas for substitutions to use what you have on hand: Chill: It can be served right away or for a colder, more refreshing pasta salad, chill for 1 – 2 hours.Add more if needed: Thin with more pasta water as desired and season with more salt as needed.Toss with dressing and pasta water: Whisk dressing once more then pour over ingredients in bowl along with 1/4 cup pasta water.Add pasta, veggies, and cheeses to bowl: Add cooled pasta to an extra large bowl along with salami, tomatoes, olives, bell peppers, red onion, mozzarella pearls, parmesan, parsley and basil.Make Italian dressing: For the dressing whisk together olive oil, lemon juice, oregano, mustard, honey, garlic, red pepper flakes and season lightly with salt and then pepper to taste.Prepare pasta salad ingredients: While pasta is cooking and cooling chop ingredients.Cool pasta: Immediately transfer pasta to a rimmed 18 by 13-inch baking sheet and spread out to cool for 15 minutes.Reserve 1/2 cup pasta water then drain pasta. Boil pasta: Cook pasta according to directions on package (I boil in 5 quarts water with 1 Tbsp salt) just barely to al dente.Or just make the full recipe anyway and serve the leftovers the following day for lunch. The recipe will halve nicely for a family dinner. Just one thing to note – it does make a very large salad, or enough for a small crowd. This makes a very hearty and satisfying side dish that pairs well with grilled chicken, beef or fish. There’s a nice trio of crisp, soft, and chewy. It has a harmonious blend of textures as well. Each of the ingredients blend exceptionally well together, each one complimenting the other. This will quickly become a new favorite because there is so much goodness and an abundance of fresh flavor. What would summer be without at least one cookout or picnic that includes a vibrant and perfectly enjoyable, cold pasta salad? Loaded and refreshing Italian Pasta Salad! Made with tender pasta, smoked salami, fresh veggies and herbs, two types of cheese, and a tangy homemade Italian dressing.
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How To Get Into Ketosis
Steps of Ketosis
How To Achieve Ketosis
So you’ve heard about ketosis, how it takes all that extra fat in your body and converts it into energy, and you want to know how to get into ketosis.
Let’s go through all the keto induction secrets.
Step 1 is, of course, the reduction of carbohydrates.
You simply adjust your diet to remove the focus on carbohydrates.
Most people are sugar addicts, meaning everything they eat is high in sugars. That can be the sweets, the desserts, pastries, pizzas, even milk has sugar added to it.
So the first step is reducing the carbs, especially the processed carbs.
Drop the white bread, the processed white rice.
If you want to ease into ketosis, then a gradual reduction in the carbs is what you want to follow. This will avoid the challenges of keto, like diarrhea, the keto flu, keto headaches, fatigue, and irritability.
Warning: we will discuss how to get into ketosis in 24 hours (including fasting to get into ketosis), but this comes with some risks of the keto side effects, so read all the warnings before you get started with keto.
Fastest Way To Get Into Ketosis
The absolutely fastest way to get into ketosis is by using a zero carb approach with intermittent fasting. It creates a secondary effect called “autophagy”, or “self eating” which can make the body much more responsive to all the stimulus it gets.
So, if you are brave, drop all the carbs, create a 16 hour window where you consume only coffee, unsweetened teas, and water. Break your fast with a zero carb meal like steak and eggs, add in some vegetables like broccoli or cauliflower (you can steam and salt it). You can fry the meat in coconut oil or mct oil (4 mins on one side, then flip it), and bake it in the oven at 425F.
How long does it take to get into ketosis?
You will enter ketosis in 24 to 48 hours, the fastest possible ketosis transition possible. That’s how some of the ketogenic before and after folks got their results.
Of course, you may see some bowel changes, some headaches perhaps. Using the ketogenic diets and intermittent fasting will get results fast.
To enter ketosis, you need to flush the bloodstream of all the non-keto friendly elements. You want to start burning up the fat stores, have your body produce ketones, and have this metabolic state step into high gear.
You are going to disrupt the microbiome in the gut. It’s like a village of bacteria, and fasting to get into ketosis will start to replace the microbiome in your gut. Bowel movements.
How Can I Get Into Ketosis in 24 Hours
The fastest possible to to enter ketosis is roughly 24 hours. To do this, you’ll need to cold turkey all carbs and sugars, immediately.
You’ll need to likely supplement with ketone products – supplements that will release the ketones that occur in ketosis. While this is “not real”, it does signal to the body you are in ketosis, and helps to retool the machine for ketone operation. Next, you’ll need to start eating only meat, fish or fowl for the first day. Do *NOT* have any sugars, potatoes, rice, low fat milk, or anything else that might trigger a reaction that counters ketosis.
For add-ons to your meat, fish and fowl, you can look to steamed asparagus, steamed or boiled broccoli, or any other extremely low carb deep green vegetables. Black tea and black coffee and water are the beverages you can have.
You can use ketone strips to test your urine, and you will see the measure drop and reach a deeper level of ketosis in as little as 24 hours.
Intermittent Fasting and Ketosis
Get Into Ketosis With Intermittent Fasting
If you go with the intermittent fasting with your keto, you can choose 8 hours, 12 hours, or 16 hours to enter ketosis faster. Doing IF with low net carbs and using your fatty stores, you’ll start to be losing weight, developing ketones, and staying in ketosis in the quickest way possible.
One thing you’ll boost is a signal in the body called “mTor”. You may actually notice mTor as you get into the routine of fasting and keto. It will feel like when you were young, that surge of power and activity in the body, where everything is building and repairing, and clearing out the junk.
mTor is the signal that starts muscle growth and anabolic activity – the better, stronger, signalling from your body. This mTor is affected by the ketone bodies of this diet in a positive way.
By fasting on and off, you sensitize the body to exercise and protein, so when these things show up, it’s a bigger reaction you get.
Of course, exercise is very helpful. Near the end of the fasting period, do some cardio or gym work and end the fast with the low carb meal.
Low Protein High Fat Ketosis
Protein is essential to good health. I wouldn’t work to get the protein percentage too low, since this will start the process of converting your muscle into glucose for energy.
It takes so much effort to develop lean body mass, and to have the body consume it for energy would be unfortunate.
It is much better to enter ketosis and have the body use fat as the energy source – by being in ketosis the body will turn into a fat burning machine, and this not only helps to trim the visible fat, but it also works at the cellular level, to burn off the fat inside the cells. This allows the cells to work much more effectively. You’ll feel more energy!
So rather than think of low protein intake, try to focus on increased fat intake, and the kind of fat intake that makes you feel good. Personally, I love the fat in a high quality steak – when it is grilled to perfection, the fat in the steak tastes like candy. Delicious.
There’s a lot of misconception about good fats – vegetable fat, and being polyunsaturated. That really means “unstable fat”, as it doesn’t have all its chemical links finished yet. Look for more saturated non-trans fats. Trans fats are what you want to avoid at all costs.
You will induce ketosis by keeping the carb intake low, and having a good amount of fatty acids to take their place. Keep the protein at a healthy level and all will go well.
How Long Does It Take To Get Into Ketosis
You can buy a ketone measure tool at the pharmacy, and like diabetic tests, you prick your finger and test your blood ketone levels. When it shows a high blood ketone count, you are in ketosis! It may be inconvenient, but in the beginning it is very handy to have the real measure of ketosis in your blood, to know where you are at.
What you should aim for is how to get your body into ketosis quickly, since this will train your body to be responsive to stimulation. Instead of constantly snacking and eating, you now introduce discipline, and your body will respond by entering and exiting ketosis more effectively.
Normally you can get into ketosis in 72 hours, but if you follow the fast track method, you can get into ketosis in 24 hours. It may be a rough ride, as we mentioned.
Don’t think of ketosis as “entered and done”. You will enter and exit ketosis all the time if you follow the keto diet correctly.
Sometimes it will be good to have a carb meal – healthy carbs, natural carbs, like asparagus and broccoli, to let the body switch things up and stay challenged.
Think of it like this: 5 days of keto diet. One day of fasting or intermittent fasting, followed by a day of feast. Repeat.
It lets you be mainly in ketosis, to trim down, followed by a challenge to the body to stay responsive to the signals of growth and fitness (mTor), and to learn about lean times and feast times, so the body can react more significantly to the events it experiences.
Once you get back to keto meals, with low or zero carbs, you will find yourself able to enter ketosis in less than a day. Your body will have learned the flexibility to switch in and out of ketosis so well that ketosis will be quick and painless.
How To Put Your Body Into Ketosis
Women are different than men. Women need more variety, more “feast days”. Eating Steak and eggs each day doesn’t work for women.
Most diets have a healthy variety of food choices. Lots of flavors, and to put your body into ketosis, you should keep the diet interesting and mix it up in a way you enjoy.
Have some keto garlic bread, some keto peanut butter cookies.
Set your diet up so you don’t even think of it as difficult – it’s more fun and an adventure to be in ketosis rather than a temporary pain to go through.
Warning About Fats and Carbs
One of the worst things you can do is consume a meal with fats and carbs.
The body has a totally different way to consume fats than when it consumes carbs. By mixing carbs and fats, you are kick starting an inflammation process that is not good at all.
If you take one thing away from what you read here, by reducing the mixture of fats and carbs in your meals, you’ll do the biggest service to your body and your life.
Inflammation is the one thing few people are talking about, and by separating your fats and carbs into different meals, you can reduce the inflammation war that is going on in your body, and take a step to better cellular health.
Fixing the Toxic Cells
To really lose excess fat, you need to get the cells healthy, to get rid of the toxins in the cells. These are the heavy metals we don’t like.
Sadly, doing a blood test will not tell you if you have toxic cells.
Cells have fatty membranes and toxins love fat, they move in.
Detoxing cells is an on again, off again process, a cycle process.
Cilantro doesn’t do it.
Think of it this way: it took a lifetime to get like this, so don’t expect a full detox in a week or two. It’s something you add to your lifestyle.
To really detox, you need to get rid of the sources of toxins – the silver fillings, the inflamed root canal.
If you are serious about getting healthy, maximizing cellular energy, mental clarity and feeling and looking great, then a real body detox is what you want, in addition to a good keto diet and those regular far infrared sauna sessions.
Since most detox info you can find is fake (doesn’t do anything), and there are only a few people who are truly detoxed and know what they are talking about, I’d recommend you grab The Cellular Healing Diet, written by Dr. Pompa.
With full cellular detox, everything you do to enter ketosis will be amplified. Your cells will respond like a teenager. You’ll drop weight like nothing, and ketosis will induce such a lean mean body, you will feel the need for feast days to maintain a healthy look. I simply cannot recommend anything higher than a full cellular detox that actually works.
Love Your Mushrooms
There is a little secret you should know.
It’s our kinship with mushroooms.
With ketosis, mushrooms have a wonderful ability to draw out the bad stuff and help flush it out of us. Since they tend to be low in carbs to, they fit perfectly into the ketosis lifestyle. Fry them up in your favorite keto oil, like mct oil, and add them to the stir fry dishes and other keto creations you make.
Look for mushrooms like Rishi, Ashwaganda, Maca and use them in your keto cooking to have a wonderful detox effect.
Far Infrared Saunas
If you want to get into ketosis fast, one of the secrets is to stimulate the cells of your body energetically.
One of the best ways to get deep into the body and stimulate every cell is through the use of far infrared saunas. This is why I’m hot.
This kind of heat goes deep into the body and triggers cellular activity like nothing else. Your cells will buzz with activity and you will sweat profusely.
Since it goes much deeper than a hot tub or regular heat sauna can do, your cells will be more active and stay more active for longer.
Summary of How To Get Into Ketosis
So, there you have it, the secrets of getting into ketosis fast:
Intermittent Fasting
Zero or low carb to start
Exercise
Optimize diet for detox
FIR saunas to boost your results
Use the resources we link to above for step by step guides on how to get into ketosis and get maximum results. Once you get your six pack abs and model body, use our contact form to send us your before and after pics. Be sure to mention you would like us to publish your story and how we can contact you for an interview.
Good luck with your ketosis journey and I hope your find success with the secrets we have shared with you today.
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